Letting Go

Everyone says that they have; most try to; some manage it; but everyone needs to. 

What am I talking about? Letting go. 

And I don't mean rocking out to Frozen while in your PJs hating the people that called you ugly. That's not letting go. 

I mean full, complete, utter forgiveness and peace. 

I recently got over the friendship issues I've had. Actually, I don't think I have, but I've accepted it and am working towards letting it go. 

Getting over something literally means that you're above it, and you don't care. At least, that's how I see it. 

If you're still crying, thinking, talking or reacting to/about a situation - you are not over it. 

For example, what happened in my group (if you're unsure about what happened, read this: http://thefairygoddaughter.blogspot.com.au/2015/01/when-friendships-go-bad.html - it explains it) hurt a lot, and was hard to get over. But now, I can talk to them in class, walk past them in the corridor, and explain to people why I'm not sitting with them, all while feeling nearly nothing. 

I'm not going to lie, I have the occasional episode where I feel like I've been stabbed or punched and feel sorry for myself, and so I know that I'm not over it. 

And I don't think that I am ever going to be over it, because it was a big thing, and it will always remind me of the feelings, even if I don't feel them anymore. I'm never going to forget how it felt sitting alone wondering where everyone was; how their faces looked when I confronted them; or the walk home, where I was in tears on the phone to FGM. But I hope that I will be able to look back and not feel sad, angry or want to do anything. 

I know now that there is a difference between accepting, forgiving, letting it go and moving on; they are four very different things. I have accepted that it happened, I have accepted that my parents are split up, I have accepted that things are going to go back to how they were when I was 10 or 12. 

I have forgiven some of my old friends. 

I also know that letting go is hard, will be hard, has been hard, and I know that that's perfectly okay. I know that when I think about it I will get a twisted feeling in my belly, and I'm okay with that. 

Because it does get easier. Trust me. Eventually, I know I'll be able to do group work or smile at or walk past them without feeling a thing, and I know that if you are dealing with the same thing, or anything that makes you have similar feelings, YOU will get through it too! 

I'm sorry that this post is so messy and disorganised, I just wanted to get it out while I'm feeling it (writing is very therapeutic!). 

If you want, please share your stories and questions in the comments, and I will answer you! If you follow me, I'll follow back :) 

So just remember: it will all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. 

Fairy God Daughter, 

Flying away